2 1/2 weeks left...

With there only being 2 1/2 weeks left, i have the most mixed feelings. A. My boo is leaving me to go to Jersey. B. School is finally over!! After having one hell of a year, i don't know how to feel about it all. Crazy roommates, falling in love, being hurt, fun vacations, some of the funnest adventures with the roommies (the not so crazy ones), and so many laughs, tears and serious times we've had. It has been one of the most interesting experiences yet.
Lets keep the good times rolling and keep having fun. I want this to end good, even though it is ending.

Number 1

Why do i have this feeling i will never be someones number 1. The person they think about all the time. That when they get a text or a call from them they get butterflies. That wants only a happy ending with you. I wish i could have that... I wanna be someones number 1. I'm tired of having number 1's and all i get is about a number 2 or 3. I want to be important in someones life. I want to have that love given to me that i have given too many times. I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm so tired of being pushed aside... I want to be a number 1 in someones life...

Our elements are missing

Trust is the number one thing needed in a relationship... Thats why ours is messed up. I dont trust you, i hate not trusting you. But so far you have given me no reason to trust you. Now i just hope your not screwing me over. I'm so sick of this... So sick of it. So i just dont even know what to say to you anymore..

What now??

I've done everything i can. I'm done. I have done as much as i can and now i have realized am i not getting anything back. So i'm done. I'm done with you. You have hurt me in ways i have never been hurt before.
Dont you hate that feeling?? When someone just rips your heart right out of your chest and just leave you there to bleed?? Well in case you havent its one of the worst feelings you could ever experience it. I think now i am becoming an official hater of love. All it does is bring misery and hurt. Its not worth it. I am just a man hater now (especially you know who).

The end

You broke my heart... I love you. I always will. I dont understand how you can do this to me? Do you just not care anymore?? I want to be with you so bad, why cant you see that??
You ended our relationship, or what was left of it. Just remember, you ended it. Not me.

Tears

Why do these tears just keep falling, i keep trying to hold them back but they come in such great amounts that i cannot contain them! Why does my stomach keep turning and keep making me so sick. Tonight i am mourning for you. For your love, i dont know where it went, i feel like i am loosing it. I feel that i am loosing you, your fading from me, you seem to be further and further the more i reach for you. I keep hearing things that i do not believe, i need re-assurance... I need to know that i'm your girl and that nothing and no other girl will get in the way of that. I love you more than i can say... You mean everything to me. You have made me more happy than i have been in years. Please dont hurt me. These tears i cry for you are a sign, be with me now, or go.

Will things change?

Today i am happy, things are finally looking up since i got so scared that we would have to take a new direction. I am so happy that we do not have to go down that road. Now that i am thinking more of my future, i realize how much i want you in it. I want you to be there, i want to be there for you. I want to give you everything i have and have everything you can give. I want to share a life with you. I love you and nothing will change the way i feel about you. My heart cannot take anymore pain, anymore hurt, anymore questions... I need you in more ways than i think you really know.
I am a girl in love, and i am waiting for you :) I love you.