My best friend, and lover..

Depression is hitting hard right now. I am so insecure with my weight and so stressed with everything going on around me. I cry for no reason, i hurt all the time, i feel like my days are blurring together...
I hate this feeling, i'm not me. I am not who i am when i came to Snow College. I fell in love and now i feel like this love is falling apart and i am doin anything i can to save it. It feels like it is falling between my fingers and i cannot stop it. Honey, my heart is being ripped out and i want you to put it back into place. I love him and i feel like i am loosing him, i dont know what to do.
You leave to Utah State in August, that is only 6 more months i get with you... till your gone. I know you are scared and you think that we cannot be together unless were serious, but honey... I want to be serious, i love you. I want to be with you forever.
You may not be ready to be married or engaged, but i am not either. I am 18 years old, i still need alot more from life before i become part of another person. I am just telling you that i want to be with you. I can wait to be married/engaged. I am not expecting that at all, i just want you to the fullest.
I love you. You have been my best friend and my lover. I dont know why this has to end, yeah it may be getting more serious but that is just showing how we are supposed to be together. I have shared things with you i cannot even get myself to think about. You have seen the deepest sides of me. I dont want that with anyone else. I only need to know that you feel the same... If you do then lets take advantage of the time we have together! Why not make the best of what we still have left to do?? You have things you want to do before you die, let me help you do them :) Lets do things together that will build us up in the best of ways. Yeah there will be hard times, but when is there not in life?
I want you to be happy, and i want us to be happy, i want to be a part of you that makes you happy.
I love you, always.